Can we love too fiercely?
This question has been tossing itself around my mind over the last week. I’m trying to decide if there has ever been a moment in my life where I’ve regretted giving everything I have to care for and to love the people around me?
Ultimately the answer is no.
We can’t love too fiercely, we can’t fight enough, sacrifice enough, stand up enough for those around us. Even if our actions seem small, futile, pointless, if done in love we are forging a path towards better things.
We also can’t apologize for the depth of emotion we feel towards those who are hurting. We live in a society that encourages us to tune out, that desensitizes us towards reality, that shames and criticizes people who express emotions, that encourages us to take care of ourselves first. We are told if something is hard, draining, not easy and “fun”, then it could be detrimental to our own “happiness”.
But when did love become about happiness? When did we believe the lie that love doesn’t involve sacrifice, pain, emotion, fiercely fighting for someone because you believe in them, not because they’re perfect in that moment? When did it become okay to pick and choose the pieces of a person’s life we want to be a part of? We can’t ignore the broken pieces and shy away whenever small cracks appear. What we need to be doing is standing by with the glue to help repair, replace, and hold the broken pieces, until we can help find where and how they fit again.
A broken person is still a whole person, there is just more depth and more complexity creating that whole.
So no, we can’t love too fiercely. We may get pushback, we may experience deeper hurt and some loss ourselves because we do choose love.
Be vulnerable even when it hurts and even if it isn’t reciprocated, don’t apologize for fighting for your friends and family, don’t feel bad when you can’t turn off your heart, your tears, your deep empathy for the world and the people in it.
Not everyone may understand, people may run away, people may choose to not sit in heavy places. Let them leave, the reality is someday they will have no choice but to sit with a broken person, or to sit with their own brokenness, because we’re all broken in some way.
So can we love too fiercely? Maybe to some, but to that broken person who is being loved fiercely, no.