I kept telling myself that once September got here things would settle down.
After a full summer of big decisions, transitions, and running a hundred miles an hour on empty, I felt ready to get back to balance, and to find some rhythms of rest in my day to day. I clung to the belief that September 1st would settle my spirit and would refresh me like a long Sunday afternoon nap.
It’s now September 7th and I still feel drained. On top of feeling drained I feel frustrated that I’m entering a new month, and soon a new season, with no source of refreshment in sight. I doubt a face mask and a night in, or a month on a beach, would even bring me the depth of rest and refreshment my soul is longing for. (I actually have a face mask on as I write this in a desperate attempt to see if it can chip away at my chronic drain…)
So what can I do?
Exiting out of my life isn’t an option. I can’t quit my job, abandon my responsibilities, move to a new country, and just shut down (I mean I could but I know that won’t solve anything).
How can I restore some balance?
I want to be able to enjoy this next season. I have a new home, new opportunities, and lots of exciting things in store. But when I feel emotionally and mentally drained the vibrancy of life fades and I slip into survival mode; an exhausting place where nothing gets done, I never feel great, and I coast through important things that deserve my full attention.
Admittedly I don’t know the answer, which is probably why a couple times a year I find myself evaluating my life, taking a step back, and figuring out how to reset.
So that’s what this September is about. More than just self care, I want to hopefully finally find some long term strategies to prevent myself from feeling like I need a life overhaul several times a year.
I’m not sure what this month is going to look like. There will probably be some easy simple changes like trying to plug into a more regular exercise regimen. I think there will also be some difficult steps, like assessing whether I need to start seeing a counsellor more regularly again. There’s lots of work to be done and always lots to learn.
It’s been a while since I’ve written much, but starting to write again is also a step towards balance. Getting back to the things that I love, being authentic and vulnerable, being open to real conversation with those who read what I write. Also being consistent and not just doing things when I feel like it, but acknowledging that sometimes we have to do things that are hard, and that we don’t feel like doing because we know in the long run they are best.
That’s a message I speak over my life often, don’t just do what you feel, work with your head and your heart together to build rhythms that are constant and sustainable, not erratic and unpredictable. Routine can often feel binding and restraining, but for some (myself included) it’s needed to feel settled and purposeful.
Do your rhythms and routines need a reset?
This is your invitation to use September to discover what will set you up to live the rest of the year feeling refreshed.